We all have the opportunity for greatness in life, to do something amazing that we will remembered for. The chance to just stop paying rent and to start making a true difference. Sadly most of us do not grasp it when we have that chance as it usually seems to hard to accomplish.

Most of us instead just settle for meritocracy. We settle for a “good” life with our 9-5 jobs that will never leave us with a true feeling of accomplishment or fulfillment that could have been had we taken the harder road. We reward ourselves for our “hard” work by buying inanimate objects like ipods to relish in our own dull lives.

I had a long sleepless night of self realization as I have had before and for far too long I have settle for the okay life. I don’t have much in life right now but I’m much better off then a lot of people in this world. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a decent job and a some what comfy place to sleep (if you can call a futon comfy). What do I have to complain about right?

What I realized though is I’m only paying rent and am only going to be paying rent if I keep on my course. Ya I’ll buy more objects to make myself feel better about life (I dunno a bedroom set would be nice). I’ll probably meet someone special who will make my heart weak and my stomach full of butterflies. God willing (or nature) we will have children who will drive me up the wall as I did my mother when I was growing up. When I’m old and retired I’ll look back at my life and say “Ross, you had a pretty damn good life” as I happily push my grandchildren on the swing to their screams of joy. I will be happy with the life I led and the things I did but I will never know what it is to be great.

We all think about the “what ifs” in life. What if I had married Suzie, what if I had taken that job in San Francisco and what if i had invested in that stock. These are what ifs in life that would have only contributed to more happiness in the second-rate life we are living because we are asking the wrong question and not reaching for the full potential we can achieve.

So I have decided something (ya I’m getting to the point of this rant), I’m going to change the world (okay, you can stop laughing, no seriously stop laughing). How am I going to change the world, just little old Ross. Well as many of you know I have a hobby of making short videos, now they aren’t much but with over 10 million people seeing them and over 10,000 emails I can’t be doing too bad. These videos are only little grasps at the greatness I want to accomplish in life but I have yet to take the full reach.

Okay so I guess I need to finally get to the point and let you in on my little secret. I’m going to make a movie (all right, what did I tell you about laughing). You’re probably thinking I’m just tired and delusional right now and that I’ll come to my senses after 10 hours of sleep. After all what do I know about making a movie right? I shouldn’t really call it a movie as it will be a documentary. A documentary on what you ask (good question), well I shall tell you. It will be a documentary on life (10000 points for originality right).

So how is my documentary going to be different from every thing else you have seen and how is it going to change the world? Well if you have lived in St. Louis or have ever been there you will know there is St. Louis and East St. Louis (and washington park/sauget). If you go to city-data you will notice that East St. Louis/Washington Park turn out a very respectable #2/3 on the cities with the highest crime in the United States. Their crime index is 2030/1867 (average being 327) where as if you go right across the river to my city Manchester, MO the crime index is 71 (we don’t even have murders). The distance between the two is a mere 23 miles. 23 miles can separate you between a life in the suburbs and a life of drive bys.

My “movie” is going to show this contrast. I don’t want to give out more details then that as I don’t want to give out false info.

So I am going to start saving up for a decent camera and then this white boy is going to go in the “hood” where most white people wouldn’t stop if their car was on fire (I swear I don’t have a death wish). I don’t know exactly what type of camera I’m going to get nor do I know how long it is going to take me to save up for it (anyone want to buy me a camera?). I’m going to follow my dream just as the little boy does when you tell him he can be President and I will succeed in the greatness I wish to accomplish or fall flat on my face, either way at least I will know I tried.