On September 11th 2007 my life was changed forever when my daughter Kaelyn Zoe Myers was born at Missouri Baptist Medical Center. It was surreal watching my daughter being born and I’ll forever cherish the moment I first got to hold her and the nights I spent in the hospital.

Things have been rough ever since my child was being born and my ex invited another man to her birth. Needless to say I was pretty upset but I kept my head up and enjoyed the experience of my daughters birth. After that things calmed down a bit and I usually see my baby girl five nighs a week which I feel very lucky for because she gets to have her daddy in her life while court things settle out. Then things got heated again two days before Christmas when I was told her family was taking my daughter away on Christmas. I called my lawyer immediately and asked her two make sure I got to see my baby on Christmas as it was her first and I really wanted to see her for it. After all the wrangling was done they finally relented and let me be with my daughter from 8 am - 12 pm so it was a compromise I wasn’t really happy with but I got to spend time with the little one. During this fight I was reminded that I should be thankful I get to see my daughter right now because they don’t have to let me over all the time, basically holding it over my head that if I fight I won’t get to see my daughter.

It was a hard thing to fight as basically everyone told me that I’m a man and I pretty much have no rights. The bias in the family court is so overwhelming I see why men just give up and not try to be a part of their children’s lives. It is an uphill battle where you are the enemy and it seems like I’m fighting even my own lawyer to get things done. I was told that I probably wouldn’t be able to see my daughter on Christmas by my lawyer so I guess I was lucky they relented.

Another issue came up yesterday when I was told that a friend of the family and a potential love interest of my ex was coming in from Kansas City to stay the night. I can’t say how shocked I really was that my ex was bringing a guy that doesn’t live here around our daughter before they are in a relationship or anything. I fully expect my ex to date and hopefully she’ll get married to a very good man that will love her and my daughter bloth however I feel bringing random love interests around a child will only end up hurting the child. You’ll notice I keep being told these things last minute so I have no time to prepare or do anything about it. I begged my ex to either let my daughter stay the night at my house or they could both stay. She didn’t see the need for this and told me I was being ridiculous even though she wouldn’t be comfortable if the situation was reversed. Trying to make things amicable and to protect my daughter I sent my ex this email:

Julie,

As I stated before I really don’t want to fight with you about this. I’m really trying to make this amicable for everyone. Please let me daughter stay with me tomorrow as I don’t feel right having another man who may be a love interest to you around her when you guys never really see each other. This would be different if you two were in a long term relationship. I’m willing to pay you $500 outside of any custody money for your inconvenience and for the ability to know my daughter is safe. Please Please Please just grant me this one huge favor.

I never got a response on it. I talked to my lawyer and insisted we do something to have my baby stay the night with me. She setup an appointment to talk with me earlier today which I just got back from. Basically what I’m told unless my ex beats my child, smokes a rock or I can prove molestation I’m SOL as mothers have the ultimate right. There is nothing you can do as a father to protect your child even if the man that is spending the night sleeps in her room. The lawyer told me no judge will grant me temporary custody and they won’t file for it if they don’t think they can win.

All I can do now is hope my daughter is okay no matter how many men my ex brings over and has stay the night. It really sucks being treated like a second class citizen when it comes to your child. I thought we had done away with prejudice in this country but apparently that is only on race, it is still perfectly acceptable to have prejudice against a man trying to be a daddy to his daughter.